Result? Nothing! I am at wit's end.
I have tried 2 remotes: A modded 6012 (that I've JP1'd before) and an unmodded 15-2133.
I have tried all 3 COM ports (2 native, one USB).
The USB one tells me that the power is off, and the native ports tell me...
"No response from interface. Make sure that the interface is connected to the PC and that you've specified the correct port."
I used NTE equivalents of the 2N2222. I also used 1N4004 for diodes and .1uF SMT caps.
I've checked the entire board over and over with my meter; all points are connected as per the schematic. All resistance readings are what they should be. All my transistor B-E voltage drops read good (.690ish). All my diodes read good.
I'm lucky enough to have a logic analyzer. I hooked it up to the COM (DB9) and JP1 connectors. This is what I see when I do a device check.
(Click to see the full image.)

What should I be seeing? What should I try next?